March 2, 2020: The night where my newborn scream-cried, uncontrollably, for five hours straight.
March 2, 2020: The night where my newborn scream-cried, uncontrollably, for five hours straight.
Nobody told us about P.U.R.P.L.E. crying. And we were wrecked because of it. Have you heard of it? Let’s dive in.
Trigger warning: Suicidal mentions, depression
Nobody told us about P.U.R.P.L.E. crying. And we were wrecked because of it.
Peak: 2 weeks old - 2 months
Unexpected: unpredictable, no logical cause
Resistant: to being soothed
Pain: may falsely appear in discomfort
Long-lasting: can go on for hours a day
Evening: when babies tend to cry the most
Essentially... shorter bursts of colic behaviour that are intense and unsolvable.
One month into our newborn journey, and battling with severe PPA and PPD mixed with very little sleep, I was having vivid thoughts about jumping from our fifth story balcony. At one point it even sounded glorious- anything to not hear this painful sound from his tiny body. My brain was spiralling out of control and we had no idea how to help him.
On the fifth hour of Leo scream-crying we called in our team of midwives for an emergency visit at 1 am. After doing a thorough physical exam, they fed him a bottle, and he immediately went to sleep. We had tried that many times over the 5 hours.
I’d never felt more like a failure, and simultaneously relieved, in that moment. In my head it confirmed that I had no idea how to take care of my son. When in reality... he was just ready to rest- and likely, the calming energy of my midwife was just the trick he needed.
Afterwards I had a very hard, tear filled conversation with my lead midwife. She taught me about PURPLE crying and how very real -and devastating- it can be. I didn’t know that he could cry without a cause. I thought there must always be something I should intuitively know to solve.
But... nope. And this happened multiple times, and his nightly crying went on for months. Thankfully, with the knowledge in our back pocket that as long as we were doing everything in our power for his comfort (*and we had the all-clear medically)... we were dealing with P.U.R.P.L.E.
Why do I feel passionately about sharing this information?
Because I will be damned if any new mamas think they’re alone in the newborn wasteland dealing with these hardships.
I SEE you. I was you. I am HERE for you. I know it’s so fucking hard but I promise you...
There is a beautiful end result coming to this hard season.
Check it out below.
EIGHT THINGS I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY POSTPARTUM:
I want to save you from making mistakes that I made, so I’ve written a list just for YOU to help identify some postpartum game-changers that will save some heartache. Let’s dive in…
I want to save you from making mistakes that I made, so I’ve written a list just for YOU to help identify some postpartum game-changers that will save some heartache.
Let’s dive in…
Learn everything about P.U.R.P.L.E. crying! I have a post about it here as a starting point.
Soak up info about 0-4 months sleep cycles & proven sleep info: then make informed decisions about how we want to address sleep/naps from day 01 (Very personal decisions here, but for us, lack of sleep caused much deeper postpartum issues)
Invest in some staple clothing items that are comfy, stretchy, and secure- to fit my new postpartum body- right away. I highly recommend Aerie high waisted leggings!
Join an inclusive “fed is best” community, whether virtual or in person. The pressure for breastfeeding, when it just plainly WAS NOT working for us, caused huge breakdowns. Not worth it when my son thrived using formula. Every baby is different- but I wish I could go back and hug new mom me, for crying over spilled, unused milk.
Invest in newborn photography. (I didn’t. And I regret it very heavily.)
Find a friend or two, locally or virtually in fb groups, who’s baby is due the same month. (You can go through the shitty 2 am feedings together, texting in solidarity!)
Have you heard of the “glass vs rubber balls” comparison theory? Check it out here. Take it to heart. And quickly sort out (daily, if needed) which is which for your fam.
Stay in tune with your limit, mentally and physically. I tuned my limits out and popped stitches (0/10 do not recommend), nearly got mastitis, and became suicidal over the course of months 0-4. Do not let your mental or physical health become a dropped glass ball. There is NO SHAME in seeking out help- and if going to a professional is scary/overwhelming for you, start with a trusted friend. Just start somewhere. YOU are just as important as your baby. Put your oxygen mask on first.
Have an expecting friend who will NEED to hear this?
Share it with them!
Vibrant Baby Gender Reveal | Hotel 52 in St Jacobs, Ontario
Vibrant, intimate baby gender reveal at Hotel 52 in St Jacobs, Ontario.
Baby Shower Styled Shoot | Sunday Studios in Kitchener, ON
THE VENDORS WHO MADE IT HAPPEN:
venue @thesundaystudiokw
photographer @lacifrazierphoto
stylist + florist @foreverwildfield
tableware rentals @latkatlinens
beauty @totalbetty_kw
attire @collinsclothiers @zebubeyou
stationery @wild.muse.weddings
cake @toonicetoslice.ca
hat @skinstudiobeautyco @gigipip
necklace @oakandluna
mama model @jillian.barbie
Six Months Sitter’s Session: Twin Edition
I got the call for this session while I was standing in the Michaels checkout line with my arms full of florals for my upcoming mini sessions. As soon as I heard this sweet Momma’s voice on the phone say “This is last minute, but would you be available ASAP for my twins 6 month (okay okay, 7 month) portraits?” I went, “Hold on, did you say twins??” and when she laughed and said “I did!” I did an aggressive happy dance in front of the cashier on cash-out 06. This was my first
I got the call for this session while I was standing in the Michaels checkout line with my arms full of florals for my upcoming mini sessions. As soon as I heard this sweet Momma’s voice on the phone say “This is last minute, but would you be available ASAP for my twins 6 month (okay okay, 7 month) portraits?” I went, “Hold on, did you say twins??” and when she laughed and said “I did!” I did an aggressive happy dance in front of the cashier on cash-out 06. This was my first set of twins to photograph in my 9 year career, and man - did it live up to my expectations. Photographing these portraits made my heart happy dance all day long, and I still can’t look at their images without feeling warm fuzzies.
These boys are so loved! What a beautiful family. Enjoy xo
Baby H | Lifestyle Newborn Portraits in Guelph, Ontario
As soon as I stepped into the home of this beautiful family, there was a tangible vibrant energy in the air. Walking into baby H’s nursery - that immediately made complete sense. Her momma had lovingly (and painstakingly)
As soon as I stepped into the home of this beautiful family, there was a tangible vibrant energy in the air. Walking into baby H’s nursery - that immediately made complete sense. Her momma had lovingly (and painstakingly) hand painted her nursery to be an incredible reflection of the love and light that this sweet girl is bringing into their lives. She did phenomenal for her session, so calm the entire time, and her fur-siblings even cooperated, too! I hope you enjoy viewing these portraits even half as much as I enjoyed taking them. xo
You swore you’d never forget this... but you did.
You swore you’d never forget this... but you did. The pitter-patter sound of little feet against the hardwood floor. The giddy squeal of their toddler laugh. The feel of their tiny hand rubbing your cheek as you rock them to sleep,
The pitter-patter sound of little feet against the hardwood floor. The giddy squeal of their toddler laugh. The feel of their tiny hand rubbing your cheek as you rock them to sleep, maybe for the last time.
You said you wouldn’t forget. But life happened, you got busy, your schedule -and brain- filled up to capacity. Your evenings filled up with extracurricular drop offs & pick ups, your brain racing to remember when the next doctors appointment is, and realizing your dishwasher is on its last leg.
The little moments of stillness slip through your fingers.
But... not through mine. I clutch them closely, fuelled by each shutter pressing down on pouty toddler lips and wispy baby-fine curls catching the window light. The dresses twirling, the joyful “mama, watch this!”
“Mommy can’t right now, sweetheart,” you say.. tending to the newest addition.
But I, I can. I’ll watch. I’ll be your eyes to capture what you swore- you’d never forget. Because it’s my job to make sure... you’ll never have to.
You are not for everybody.
You are not for everybody. And I'm not for everybody. Not as a photographer, not as a parent, and not as a person in general. I feel like it's a lesson that may take an entire lifetime to learn as it naturally sucks to feel that disconnect.
But... by building ourselves around others' expectations- from our appearence, to passions and choices, we're sacrificing connections with OUR ideal people.
I'm not for everybody. Not as a photographer, not as a parent, and not as a person in general. I feel like it's a lesson that may take an entire lifetime to learn as it naturally sucks to feel that disconnect.
But... by building ourselves around others' expectations- from our appearence to passions and choices, we're sacrificing connections with OUR ideal people.🥺The people who will thoroughly love and enjoy you, and people who WANT to be close to you. When you choose to move towards ideal people, you begin to attract people who value the authentic you.
This becomes especially important after becoming a mom. While you may not always agree on parenting decisions with your parent friends, as long as mutual respect is maintained, it often can be worked out. But if your decisions are belittled, your opinions criticized, or parenting lifestyle mocked... you may be choosing someone who ISN'T choosing you.
SO... how do you find your ideal people?
1) Expand your inner circle outwards. One of my best friends is one of my husband’s co-workers. We happened to be pregnant at the same time, with babies 10 days apart, and ended up connecting on social media. Your next mama bestie could be an acquaintance you already know of, or someone your partner knows.
2) Facebook groups. As a starting place, search: “*Your City’s Name* Moms”. That search lead me to the Guelph Moms Supporting Moms Facebook group, which has been incredible for connecting with other mamas in our area. Interact with other mamas and see who may be like-minded to you. Or… put up a friendly post to see who would be interested in hanging out!
3) Instagram hashtags & location tags. Similar to the Facebook search, type in location pins or local hashtags (i.e. *City Name* Moms) and see who’s photos you connect to. It never hurts to leave a kind comment or shoot someone a DM!
Here’s your hug, and a push, encouraging you to be bold. Forging new, healthy, relationships isn’t always comfortable. But I promise you… the reward is OH so sweet. Your kiddos deserve a loved on, supported mama. Go get em, girl.
(By ‘em’ I mean me. Hi, let’s be friends. Do you like tacos?)
Lockdown (number...79) got you missing milestones in the family photo album? Not this time!
Here’s FIVE tips to taking your own bomb DIY milestone/family photos in-home, PLUS a bonus that had me mind-blown when I first learned it.
Here’s FIVE tips to taking your own bomb milestone photos in-home on your phone, PLUS a bonus that had me mind-blown when I first learned it.
While photographers thankfully aren’t shut down this lockdown, last year my sons first birthday happened in the midst of one, and I was bummed to miss out on big birthday pictures. So... hubby and I DIY’d our own using just my iPhone, our green wall, and some props we had laying around. Some of those photos are now hung on our walls as some of our favourite all-time pics.
HERE’S HOW:
01) Choose the room with the biggest window & (hopefully) most simple background for great lighting and making the subjects, you, pop!
02) If you have a phone tripod, let’s use that for stability. If not, get creative and use whatever necessary to get your phone evenly horizontal, and at a solid double-chinless height. I’ve used chairs, tables, books, etc as tripods.
03) Use your phone’s timer, and portrait mode if it has one (iPhone users, widen your portrait by clicking the 2x button in the lower left corner of the camera and changing to 1x).
04) Don’t feel the need to match your outfit with your background, or with everyone in your family. Coordinating is great, but dressing identically can make a photo feel more dated, or washed out (i.e. white tees & jeans on a white wall). Need some outfit guidance? Check out my free family guide of “what to wear” on my highlight!
05) Have FUN with it! Get those littles laughing. Tickle fights, whispering vegetables in a spicy voice to your partner, and cuddle piles are a good place to start. You can’t ever take too many photos, so snap away! Change up your poses, angles, and people groupings for the most variety to choose from. For mobile editing after your Vogue moment, my favourite apps are Lightroom and VSCO.
BONUS: For capturing speedy kiddos and zero attention span toddlers, a great hack is taking a video, then screen-shotting your favourite captures and saving as a new photo.
Happy memory making/taking!
If you’re near Guelph, Ontario - skip the struggle of attempting these yourself, and shoot me a message to book your Ontario Family Portraits today!
You know that sinking feeling when…
your friend's baby runs towards them for a hug, while yours spills over after a few steps.
Your chest tightening after watching after watching an Instagram story of a toddler trying an adventurous food, while yours prefers purees and toast. Let's talk about that.
your friend's baby runs towards them for a hug, while yours spills over after a few steps.
Your chest tightening after watching an Instagram story of a toddler trying an adventurous food, while yours prefers purees and toast.
Recently I was hanging out with a friend who's kiddo is extremely physically confident, and intelligent in understanding, but doesn't speak many words. While my son, Leo, can say just about any word- but doesn't feel comfortable attempting more advanced physical activities like his buddy. We talked about these differences, both lamenting (and celebrating) the other's toddler.
It's so tempting to think that what a child does when they're young is going to control their fate. If I'm being honest, earlier this year I once had the thought, "How will he reach his full potential as an adult if we're falling behind as a child?" Plot twist, he started walking that week. And.. we were never behind, he was just going at his own pace. It was ME and my own dramatic expectations that needed correcting, not him.
Listen, I know that milestone anxiety is real. It’s almost impossible not to compare, look to the next goal, wonder how to encourage its arrival, and ultimately take away time from enjoying our little one because of that worry. In case you need the encouragement that I've been whispering to myself some days, here is your virtual hug. Milestones are met one small step at a time. Give yourself grace, and kindness. If they need outside resources for additional help, so be it! Asking for (or receiving) help is NOT a sign of failure - it's a beautiful intention of chasing growth together.
Milestones are not a measure of success for you, OR your child. They will develop skills with gentle support in their own time. The month they started walking or speaking doesn't determine their destiny. But... being celebrated for who they are, daily, no matter what they can or cannot do? Now THAT'S something that has long-lasting impact.
Christmas Minis: Chickadee Tree Farm
Brrr… my toes are frozen again just looking at these photos. But how beautiful do these families look!! I was so impressed with all of these sweet kiddos and their ability to muster through the chill and still
Brrr… my toes are frozen again just looking at these photos. But how beautiful do these families look!! I was so impressed with all of these sweet kiddos and their ability to muster through the chill and still get great portraits. The snow added such a magical element to these photos that I almost wished I had it for all of my recent outdoor sessions! …ALMOST…
Enjoy!
Pregnant? Here’s 3 steps to flawless maternity portraits! PLUS a bonus tip that the retail industry doesn’t want you to know...
01) Be on time! To the session, but also with your bump. The best time to do a maternity shoot is typically between
01) Be on time! To the session, but also with your bump. The best time to do a maternity shoot is typically between 30-35 weeks into pregnancy (26-30 for twins 👯♀️ ) BUT... take your bump size into consideration. Personally, I carried forward/showed really early, so I actually shot my portraits at 28 weeks and it worked great. Pro tip: be sure you’re booking far in advance, as your fave photographer will book up months ahead of time.
02) Glam it up! But in the interest of authenticity... avoid heavy spray tanning, bronzers, and shimmers if that’s not your typical vibe.🙅🏻♀️You want to look and feel your best, and I know when pregnant it can be hard to feel like the best version of yourself. However- now isn’t the time to try a deep spray tan if you’ve never had one, or go for an intense smoky eye and red lip if you normally wear little to no makeup. My goal is to enhance the beauty you already are, and the connection you have with your sweet babe. Not to capture who you feel you should be.💞
03) Partner up. Most of my mama-to-be clients come to me wanting portraits by themselves. And- that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. But.. I always try to encourage at least a few photos with your partner in them. If you’re preparing to enter the world of parenthood with a partner by your side, your portrait session isn’t complete without them in it. Your shared excitement will shine through those maternity pictures. While they may not want to be in them now, guaranteed 100% later on they’ll be so thankful they were.🤜🏻🤛🏻
✨4TH TIP🤫👀
Most maternity gowns break the bank wiiiide open. Did you know you can find beautiful gowns on Amazon, Shein, and Poshmark?? Don’t think you have to jump right to Sew Trendy to look like a bumpin’ goddess. Some of my favourite sessions have been with second hand dresses from Poshmark and/or Facebook Marketplace! They’re usually only worn for a 45 minute period anyhow, so... score for you. 💰
Do you know someone who’s expecting? Hook them up with these hacks and send this post to them!🤰🏻
WINTER PORTRAITS COMING UP? LET’S CHAT!
If you have an outdoor portrait session coming up for you and your littles, you need these 4 tips! Toddler mamas, these are especially for you. Let’s dive in!
If you have an outdoor portrait session coming up for you and your littles, you need these 4 tips! Toddler mamas, these are especially for you. Let’s dive in!
01) Vet your photographer choice for experience. A cold weather family session isn’t the time to hire your friend who shoots high school seniors occasionally. You need someone who is proficient at quickly capturing important moments with littles- and will prioritize those shots first. 💯 Kiddos ‘over it’ tank usually expires pretty quickly in warm weather, much less cool weather. Be sure that your photographer and you communicate ahead of time to see what is important to you, whether that is a few classic portraits or candid moments of everyone having fun.
02) Family pack body warmers. Did you know that there’s now body warmers of every size and type? Some for your 🦶🏻, ✋🏻, and just about everywhere else. Many of them are sticky so you can adhere them to your inner most layer of clothing. Not only is this important for your kids, but yourself too. You won’t feel like having fun and laughing if you’re freezing your bum off.
✨Pro tip: when using toe warmers, let them oxygenate and warm up before putting your shoes on. If you don’t they won’t ever warm up because once your shoe is on there deprived of the oxygen they need to chemically react and heat up!
03) Layers for days. Undershirts, sweaters, toques, tights, you name it. Come over-dressed that way you’re able to pare down to whatever layers you’d like for your pics. Trust me, your photographer would much rather you have some extra layers on, and are toastier, rather than less and get frostbite. ⛄️
04) Even if your toddler has been potty trained, if there was ever a time to test that theory, it’s maybe not during family pictures when you probably aren’t near a bathroom. Pull ups are always a great idea for these occasions, that way if anyone needs to go potty as soon as everyone is situated for the classic family portrait... that problem is already solved. 🤷🏻♀️
Use these 4 tips and you’re on your way to a fantastic winter session! Are you braving the cold for some family pics? Comment a ❄️ below!
Christmas Minis: Vintage Red Truck
I had an absolute blast with all of my vintage red truck mini families!! I’m so honoured that most of them were repeat clients as well. I’ll never take for granted
I had an absolute blast with all of my vintage red truck mini families!! I’m so honoured that most of them were repeat clients as well. I’ll never take for granted that you choose me to capture your memories, but especially multiple times! Makes my heart melt. Enjoy these portraits!
